It's what you do to me
by DreamerInHerOwnWorld
Summary: Rachel's off in New York living the life she's always wanted. So why isn't she happy? Finchel :


**Hey everyone! I've been writing this fic for a while, but only just plucked up the courage to actually upload it. I've read so many amazing fics on here that it's kinda scary for me to be doing this but I hope you like it!**

**Btw, it's slightly AU as it's set set after Finn told Rachel he didn't want to be her boyfriend, but she never met Jesse (instead the events in this story happened).**

**Another point, I'm English so sorry for any words/phrasing that you guys wouldn't use in America, please sent me a review or a message to correct me. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :(**

**ENJOY!**

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Finn Hudson picked up his pen for the five hundredth time, only to stare at the paper for another few minutes and throw it down again in disgust. Why couldn't he get what he wanted to say right? After three hours of mind-grilling work, the best he could come up with was:

'Dear Rach, How's New York? I just wanted to tell you-'

Here the letter came to an abrupt halt. What _did_ he want to tell her? That he spent every moment thinking about her? That he googled her name at least twice a day to see if she'd got another starring role? That he couldn't even play Call of Duty without getting distracted by thoughts of her? That he'd actually cried in front of the whole Glee club when Mr Schue had turned on the radio and Don't Stop Believing was playing?

The truth was, Finn had to say so much to Rachel that he didn't know where to begin (and his significant lack of vocabulary didn't help). Things with her had been far from easy over the past few months and the two of them had barely spoken before she left. Finn blamed himself entirely for it.

Angrily, he threw down his pen and stomped downstairs.

"Finn, honey?" his mom called as she heard her son's heavy footsteps. Finn appeared at the door to the kitchen where Carole was cooking something.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Mr Schue scheduled extra glee rehearsal today." He replied shortly.

Carole went to say goodbye but Finn had already shut the front door. She had been worried about him recently. Since Rachel had left she had barely seen him – he spent all his time at school, glee or in his room. Carole knew how much Rachel meant to Finn but this drastic change in attitude was scaring her slightly.

Where a well-meaning and (usually) caring boy had been there was now just the empty shell of some 17 year old guy. He looked like Finn and he spoke like Finn but he definitely wasn't the same chivalrous guy he had been before. He barely even bothered talking unless directly questioned.

Carole couldn't help feeling slightly resentful towards Rachel who, after helping Finn so much and being the only one honest enough to tell him the truth about the baby, had gone off to New York for the life of her dreams on Broadway, leaving a massive, gaping hole in Finn Hudson's heart.

Far away across the country, Rachel Berry was in her dressing room, getting changed after a long performance. She felt a tiny (okay, more like gigantic) twinge of regret as she thought back to that promise Finn had made to her so long ago. That day he'd promised her he would definitely be there at her first show.

It wasn't his fault that his exams had fallen right on the first night or that the tickets had all sold out so fast. That's what Rachel told herself, despite the niggling idea that maybe Finn just hadn't wanted to come and see her which constantly occupied her mind.

Still, she wished her best friend could have been there to see her. The email telling her about his exams and the brief exchange of phone numbers was the only contact she had had from Finn since a talent scout had finally seen her true potential and whisked her off to Broadway. He hadn't called her once and after her first text had gone unanswered, she hadn't persisted with trying to contact him. They hadn't parted on the best of terms after he had told her he didn't want to be her boyfriend.

Looking up, Rachel stared at herself in the mirror. Wasn't this everything she'd ever dreamed of?

"Stop it, Rachel. You've got the life you've always wanted," she told herself, "you're going to be a big star. You _are _a big star. You're Rachel Barbra Berry."

She was interrupted from her motivational monologue by a knock on the door. Rearranging her features into a happier expression, she crossed the room and opened it.

"Hey, Cassie."

Cassie was the Rachel's closest friend in the cast, she and Rachel had bonded quickly. She stepped into the room and sat down on a chair next to Rachel's.

"How come you're still here so late after the show?" Cassie asked.

"I guess I was just... preoccupied," Rachel replied.

"Do you want to go and get a coffee together ad have a chat?" Cassie asked.

"Not right now."

Dropping any pretence, Cassie decided to get straight to the point.

"What's wrong Rachel? I may have only known you a few months, but you are nothing like the person I first met. Every week you've become less and less enthusiastic and I know that Broadway is your dream, so spill."

For once, Rachel didn't speak. She concentrated her prestigious acting skills on maintaining a normal expression.

"Rachel? Please tell me. I might be able to help you."

As Rachel felt Cassie's arm around her shoulders, her poker face began to crumble. She looked up at Cassie, who saw her eyes brimming with tears. Cassie put another arm around Rachel to envelop her in a close hug and her resolve disintegrated, hot tears spilling from her eyes.

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**So, what did you think? What's good, what's bad, what do you want me to include? I really hope you liked it.**

**Please, please, please review. Ideally, I'd like at least 3 reviews before I publish the next chapter. **

**DreamerInHerOwnWorld, aka Abi :D xx**


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